We're all doing the best We can!!

I'm sometimes amazed and embarrassed by how critical I can be - both of other people and of myself. Even though I both teach and practice the power of appreciation (as well as acceptance, compassion, and more) when I find myself feeling scared, threatened, or insecure (which happens more often than I'd like it to), I notice that I can be quite judgmental. Sadly, as I've learned throughout my life, being critical and judgmental never works, feels good, or leads me to what I truly want in my relationships and in my life. Can you relate to this?

I've recently been challenged by a few situations and relationships that have triggered an intense critical response - both towards myself and some of the people around me. As I've been noticing this, working through it, and looking for alternative ways to respond, I'm reminded of something I heard a friend of mine say on a number of years ago. She said, "It's important to remember that people are always doing the best they can, including you."

The power of this statement resonated with me deeply when I heard it and continues to have an impact on me to this day. And, although I sometimes forget this, when I do remember that we're all doing the best we can given whatever tools and resources we have, and the circumstances and situations we're experiencing, it usually calms me down and creates a sense of empathy and compassion for the people I'm dealing with and for myself.

Unfortunately, too often we take things personally that aren't, look for what's wrong, and critically judge the people around us and ourselves, instead of bringing a sense of love, understanding, acceptance, forgiveness, and appreciation to the most important (and often most challenging) situations and relationships in our lives.

When we take a step back and remember that most of the time people aren't "out to get us," purposefully doing things to upset or annoy us, or consciously trying to make mistakes, disappoint us, or create difficulty (they're simply doing the best they can and what they think makes the most sense) - we can save ourselves from unnecessary overreactions and stress. And, when we're able to have this same awareness and compassion in how we relate to ourselves, we can dramatically alter our lives and relationships in a positive way.

Zainab Mansoor

Section I